I went to my second class tonight. It was great. I worked hard, I sweat buckets, I felt good. My trainer watches us work out as we go and looks for modifications. What I like is that he can tell when I’m getting to the point of not being able to continue. Tonight, on the third of five sets, he had me halve the lunges, walk it out, and hop on the rowing machine for 4 minutes.

I would rather stop early than go too far and never want to go back.

On the way home tonight, I cut across a parking lot that I always cut through on the way home, and then I crossed to a sidewalk that goes up a few stairs and continues to the road. Without thinking, when I got to the stairs, I started to trot up them like I normally do… and stopped, abruptly. I was startled because my quads are just refusing to do any more than the bare minimum outside of my workouts. I couldn’t stair. I had to wince and mince my way up those four tiny stairs, and I may or may not have yelled at my trainer while laughing uncontrollably at myself.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that I started using the handicap-accessible restroom at work today.

The toilet is higher.

I am handicapped.

For now.  Soon, I will be strong, and my quads will be sneaking out in the night to fight crime and save babies and old ladies.

But for now, I cry out in pain whenever I sit.

And then again when I stand.

PS: I decided to start wearing my pedometer again when I can. steps today: 12905.