So, I may have mentioned that my theme for this year is FOCUS. It’s in my makeup that I can’t think of the word FOCUS without thinking of the movie Mallrats. But that’s my problem, not yours.
Are you starting to see that I have a focus problem? I do. I always have.
However. Thanks to help and support from the wonderful Mr. Thor, I am on the road to recovery. Let’s not tell him that I have started working on two other websites when I am not even updating this one on a regular basis.
I do have a point. My point is that I have been attending Weight Watchers meetings since October 20th. I was following the plan online, but I was not having much luck with the whole “sticking to program” aspect of things. I figured that some external accountability could revitalize my weight-loss journey, and I was right. I love meetings. I like the social interaction during the meeting, I like the celebrations at 5-lb loss intervals, I like the Bravos for behavioral change… it just works for me right now. I have only missed one meeting since I started, and that’s because I was Very Sick. But I still went to weigh in!
I have also been focusing on my office. Craft room. Studio. Whatever I decide to call it. Things have been sorted and tossed. My sewing table is in action, and I have taken a sewing class (and I’m signed up for three more!). I’m sitting in the office portion of the aforementioned room RIGHT NOW, as a matter of fact, hammering away on my new computer.
Now, for the third and final focus: writing. Blogging, too. It’s got a few things that go with it, like photography, maybe a little web design…who knows what else.
Basically, I just want to do what I want to do. That shouldn’t be too hard to focus on, right?
During my wonderful chat with my friend Stephanie, I started explaining what I perceive to be the primary problem with my focus, and subsequently, my achievement (or lack thereof). I am interested in too many things, all at once. I want to sew, knit, crochet, bake, cook, learn French, Spanish, & Italian, write books, go back to grad school for an MLS, no wait, an MFA.
And I am not really moving toward any of it. But I am interested in all of it. And I would love to achieve even some of it.
My energy is so divided that it’s like fireworks – a bang and then everything just shoots off in different directions. And, maybe, something pretty for a few seconds – but ultimately it just fizzles out without making a lasting impact.
What I need to do is FOCUS – all caps – so that my energy is more like a cannonball. A boom, and enough oomph to leave a mark. It might not be pretty, but it will do something.
So, that brings me to my word for 2012: FOCUS. I have been doing a decent job of focusing on the blog, and I hope to keep that going. My first area of focus for 2012 will be… sewing! I took a 2-hour class once and I absolutely loved it. I am signed up for a 10-hour class that starts next month (which is also next year!!) and covers the basics over a 4-week period.
Ask me how it’s going, if you don’t hear about it.
Back in October, I was having what seems to be an annual late-night chat with my dear friend Stephanie from The Lovers, the Dreamers, and Me, during what seems to be her annual visit to Not the City, New York. During that chat I opened up about how my dreams just seem so out of reach and how I don’t even know if I am still dreaming the dream anymore.
In the morning, I woke up to this on my fridge:
I read the poem and had a good cry. And I sort of resolved to do something, because one of my friends managed to write me a meaningful message using Magnetic Poetry for couples (which, by the way, contained the word DIVORCE! I threw it away immediately.). And if she could do that, I could at least muster some effort to resemble the person I long to be.
One of the first things I did was decide to get back into writing. Coincidentally, NaBloPoMo was coming up. I decided that I would update my blog every single day in November. I did write a few good posts, but mostly I am thankful for the writing practice and the “practice” practice – the mindset shift of digging into something every single day.
I wasn’t intending to make this a multi-part post, but, well – here we go again.