I don’t think my house has ever been this clean. I think I need more guests so that I can stay on top of this place.

I am beat, exhausted, totally sapped… and Thanksgiving isn’t here yet. I still have so much to do, like shoveling the turkey and stuffing the snow (name that movie).

Actually, I don’t stuff my bird. Not with stuffing, anyway. I put  onions and apples and stuff in there. I just kind of wing it, you know, with whatever scraps I have laying around the house. Craft projects, balls of yarn, old candle ends, whatever. It all goes together and really lets you explore the flavor of the bird.

At any rate, in all seriousness, moving right along… My mother-in-law and my brother-in-law are coming tomorrow night and staying for two nights.

May we all bow our heads for a moment of silence.

Actually, I can’t say I’m dreading them coming at all. I used to live with them, and I know from past experience that they are REALLY fun holiday-ers. Low key, easy to please, and game-loving.

I have planned a super-simple meal this year. I am not making candied yams. Sacrilege, in some circles, I know. But, I am on my quest for collarbones, you know, and I can’t lose sight of my goal. Especially not in a sticky-caramelized-marshmallowy pile of yams. Sigh.

Anyway, my super-simple menu. Turkey. Steamed green beans. Stuffing from a box. Mashed potatoes from scratch.

Yeah, I also bought boxes of mashed potatoes in case I chicken out and decide I don’t have it in me. When I confessed that to Mr. Thor, he immediately replied, “You mean TURKEY out!” Sometimes it’s like living with Satchel from Get Fuzzy.

So, I guess, other than cleaning like a madwoman, I really am not stressing over this whole thing. I’m just kind of tired. I just want to keep eating right, and I also want to enjoy myself, have fun, eat a few tasty morsels, and also? lose weight next Thursday when I go to my next Weight Watchers meeting.

Is that too much to ask?

Amen.