dear gym guy

by Amy

you look like a balding william h. macy but you tried to comb your hair all weird to hide it. i did not hold that against you.

you smelled like old dude and left a wake of weird cologne/aftershave behind you. i only held that against you a little bit.

you clipped past me so many times, and even though it was just you and me on the track, you insisted on practically running into me every single time you passed me. i kind of held that against you.

and then i decided to stop holding in my farts.

sorry. i ate a lot of dairy today.