“Mother May I?” Syndrome

Yesterday, I posted the first post in a series called The Story of Us. Come back tomorrow for Part 2.

Did you ever play the game “Mother May I” when you were a kid? In this game, the goal is to reach the person who is acting as the “mother” – and that is also the person who gives you permission to move forward. In order to move forward, you have to wait for the person who is playing the mother to say something like, “Amy, take 3 giant steps forward.” And then, you have to ask “Mother May I?” And the “mother” can then say yes or no.

At least that’s how I remember it. It’s kind of like Simon Says, in that you have to have someone else’s permission to do anything at all.

Sometimes I catch myself living my life like I am playing Mother May I or Simon Says. I get a great idea, I think of a “move” I’d like to make. And before I even have a chance to get started, I think I don’t have permission. It’s not that obvious, though. Sometimes I just seem to think something is silly. I don’t believe that my idea is fleshed out enough to move forward. So, metaphorically, I kind of ask “Mother May I?”

And, imagine it – the universe never responds.

This is something I want to work through in the coming year. I want to live like I don’t need permission. I want to stop being apologetic about my weirdness and embrace my unique ideas.

And you should, too.

The Story of Us: Part 1

I went to a cousin’s wedding last weekend. I sat with another cousin (I have several cousins, believe me. I have been to 5 cousin weddings in the past couple of years. Plus, my own wedding, which I will count, since I am a cousin.) and she was asking me about the story of me and Mr. Thor.  You see, we didn’t have a cousin wedding, where cousins could sit with other cousins and talk about still more cousins. We – SHH! – we eloped.

And it was awesome.

You may think that now, every awesome wedding I attend makes me regret not having a wedding. For example, at my most recent cousin’s wedding, the bridal party entered the reception to Star Wars music, and the groomsmen had light sabres.

But, see, I wouldn’t have thought of that. So there is no need for me to feel bad because I didn’t have a wedding. Instead, I feel good. Good about the man I married, good about the day I got married, and good about the dinner I ate that night. It was so fun, and so low-key, and so US – and isn’t that what the wedding is actually about, anyway?

So, some people don’t know the story of how two socially awkward weirdos who have never dated or been in relationships before met each other and fell in love and got married 4 or so years later.  We don’t have a particularly riveting story, but it’s ours… and I really, really like it.

So, I think that’s how I will start filling up my blog this November. I will write about the story of us.

 

November.

I was thinking about signing up for NaNoWriMo this month, but really, I kind of knew beforehand that I just didn’t have it in me this year. Also – and I know this seems kind of bizarre coming from a person who dreams of writing for a living – I don’t really WANT to write a novel. I want to write a blog, I want to write poems, I want to write some short stories and short nonfiction, and I maybe want to write my “memWAhh” about my life in the CIA – er, wait. 

Anyway, rather than go for one insane goal during this month, I decided to go for a different insane goal this month: NaBloPoMo. It’s a challenge for me to update my blog once per month, and this thing I have just joined requires posting every single day. I have tried this before and failed, but I think that things are lined up just right this month for me to actually be able to pull it off. 

So, if you read, please comment if you don’t see me posting. If you blog, will you consider going insane with me this month? You have until November 5th to decide. 🙂

P.S.: I may be a huge dork, but I love that today is 11/1/11. I keep looking for reasons to write the date.

P.P.S.: I finally hit over 10,000 steps on my pedometer yesterday. First time ever!

P.P.P.S.: That’s all, really. Thank you for reading my blog!